Definition: (Chav) a derogatory slang term that refers to an English subculture negatively-stereotyped as being uneducated, uncultured and prone to antisocial or immoral behavior. The label is typically (although not exclusively) applied to teenagers and young adults of working class or lower-middle class origin.

by Chris Bradford and Katie-Rose Petley


CHAV BRANDS

Chav fashion is a mysterious abyss of misbranding and visual vulgarity. The attempt to achieve the visual of social status is overwhelmingly apparent. The shame is that some of the brands regularly modeled by chavs individually lend themselves to other great fashion genres. To name some of the guilty brands: Kappa, Reebok, Burberry, Prada Sport, Ben Sherman, La Cost, Chanel, Christian Dior, Gucci, Adidas etc. Unfortunately, chavs will wear these various brands and styles together, creating a cringe-worthy, contradictory look. Think Gucci loafers with Adidas jogging bottoms topped with a Burberry cap. Chav accessories include obnoxious gold jewelry such as chains, sovereign rings and fake Chanel (complete with rhinestones). The look is completed with either some or all of the following trimmings:
- A modified car with a banging base and shit body-kit.
- A Nokia phone with a Top 40 ring tone.
- Cheap fags, hash and rolling paper.
- A notorious breed of dog with a viscous reputation (Staffordshire Bull
Terriers, Rotweillers or anything similar to the now illegal Pitbull).
- A baby, or preferably a few; all fathered by different chav boys and
pushed in a Burberry baby stroller.


COMMON CHAV NAMES

The common chav name is just that – common. Think Chris, John, Dave, Steve, Mike etc. In natural chav conversation these ordinary names are often shortened illogically: Gazza (Gary),Dal (Darren), Jel/Jezza (Jeremy), Kal (Karen) While there are a variety of female chav names, the quintessential chavettes remain Sharon and Tracey.


CHAV BABY NAMES

The golden rule when naming your chav baby is to make your Burberry-clad offspring sound expensive and classy. This can be achieved by bestowing him/her with the name of your favourite in any of the following categories: fashion designer, wine, premiership football player. The more posh or pretentious, the better. The result is a pre-school attendance list that reads as follows: Girls: Brandi, Chardonnay, Chanel, Dakota, Jade, Jordan, Tiffany Boys: Alfie, Brooklyn, Che, Kai, Rio, Romeo, Rooney, Tyson


CHAV FILMS

Apart from the odd graffiti tag, chavs aren’t what you’d call a creative bunch. They enjoy less stimulating cinematic gems such as The Fast and Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Human Traffic, Football Factory, and Snakes on a Plane. They respect quality thespians such as Vin
Diesel, Danny Dyer, The Rock, Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson


CHAV CELL PHONES/COMMUNICATION

Chavs love their cell phones. The funny thing is they don’t use them or making calls. Actual phone conversations are too expensive on pay-as-you-go tariffs (not many chavs have a phone contract... those require good credit). So bring forth the chav-on-chav text! Texting is the only way. They date by text message, break up by text message, order drugs through text message, hell, they even text home phones. (You pick up your telephone and it sounds like Stephen Hawkins is giving you an audio message, kinda cool). Chavs have even created their own language. Evry fin is shrt, qk + 2 da pnt. This language is no longer limited to text messaging and can be seen on MSN, in emails, and even chav job applications. The most coveted chav phone brand is Nokia (pronounced ‘KNOCKee- uh’ in the UK). This cheap but popular brand of ‘mobile’ is often bought from a market or ‘purchased’ ‘off a mate’ if you get my drift...


CHAV DRINKS

They key to chav drinking is simple. Drink as much as you can for as little as you can, as quickly as you can. (There goes the ‘drink responsibly’ then!)The typical liquor-run list is as follows: Stella, Lambrini, cheap cider (White Lightening is preferred), Fosters, cheap vodka, alco-pops (a firm favourite amongst the ladies).


MUSIC

You know how annoying it is to sit opposite some kid on the bus and be able to hear his muffled music blaring through his earphones? Apparently chavs didn’t think this was annoying enough. They like to play music out loud on their cell phones – in public. Unfortunately, on a double-decker it’s the norm to hear a poorly recorded Rihanna or Fiddy tune being pumped through the tiny speakers of a Nokia phone. The other music storage source of choice is an mp3 player but only the better-off chav would have an iPod.


CHAV JOBS

Ambitious male chavs usually pick a career in the trades, perhaps to do with the perks that often include smoking puff on the job, being paid cash in hand and ending every shift in the pub. Some, however, never achieve this goal; their plans cut short by the lure of selling puff (hash/marijuana). If they’re not single mums living off benefits, most chav girls can be found working as supermarket check-out girls, sales assistants in high street fashion chains or as market traders (and I don’t mean stocks and shares.)


CHAV ACCOMMODATION

The best place to go chav spotting in England is on council estates (government managed low-income housing). To be awarded residency within one of these grimy housing complexes requires accruing a certain amount of points that are based on your present living situation. Points are given for being a single parent or on a low income for example. Council estates and brick high rises are the ant farms of chavs. In fact many a chavette has intentionally become pregnant to solely move up the waitlist.


CHAV CRIME

Chavs enjoy petty crime. Misdemeanors include stealing graffiti, vandalism, shoplifting, stealing hubcaps, joyriding, causing noise disturbance and being drunk and disorderly. Antisocial Behavior Orders (ASBOS) have been implemented in the past few years for the very purpose of curbing unruly chav behavior.